Cashew Loses It

To Create and be eaten. Self improvement, Self Sacrifice and look into my LCHF/Keto/(somewhat)Gluten free journey.


So, quick catch up. I went to school. I graduated. I gained back every motherfucking pound I lost.

This can not stand.

Fuck. I nearly can’t stand.

So, yeah. Back to work. 

Getting my ass back to Keto. Hit my macros today, but have a whopping case of Keto flu. Couldn’t hit my calories even if I tried. Med compliant too for the first time in a while. I have my beezies on my side, I am one with the force, the force is with me. 

Let’s do this.

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We’re moving

And that’s ok.

I finally sprung for my own URL, which is awesome. 🙂 I’m going to link this blog to that one. No need to forget what is here 🙂

The new home for the Cashew is: (ain’t that the cutest?)

It’s a little bare yet, but I have some ideas to spruce up the joint 🙂

It’ll be my virtual kitchen table. (virtual because I sure as heck don’t have space for a real one in this apartment!)

Instead of just talking about diet, I’ll be talking about school and life as a mom as well- like if we were sitting over coffee in my kitchen.

I hope to see you there

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It’s been a while

And I can’t promise frequent updates, but now, here’s hoping–

For the record, I’m down nearly 75 lbs, I hit 242 this week. I also updated t he progress pics page. My friends say they see the difference. I don’t really, but hey, at least it’s noticeable now.

I start school today to complete my degree. Took me only about 16 years to build up the gumption to do it.

I’ll detail more about it eventually.


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Hello tape measure!

Yep, finally went and bought myself a new tape measure. The last one, as previously posted died a near heroic death. Well, as heroic as a tape measure that got melted in the dryer could possibly be.

So, I measured myself this morning post work and pre-nap. The scale, meh, not that promising, though the tape measure, now that’s where this starts to get interesting.

8/1 →9/1→10/1→11/9

  • Waist: 56″ → 52″ → 50″→ 46″
  • Hips: 58″ → 56.5″ → 54.75″→ 51″
  • Neck: 18″ →16.5″ → 16″→ 16″
  • Wrist: 7″ → 6.5″  → 6.25″→ 6.5″
  • Thigh: 28″ → 27″ → 25″→23.5″
  • Calf: 22.5″ → 21″  → 21″ → 21″

Somehow I doubt my calves will ever actually reduce any more in any signifigant way. Even when I was a kid they were still in the >20 inch range. I did have smaller ankles though.

My post-nap weight today was 257.8. My pre nap weight, which was a LOT of water was 259 and change. It’s amazing how a couple hours nap can really help to shift fluids in the right direction. I drink like a fish during the night and it’s gotta go somewhere- and I think it’s my feet! Darn my half camel background! Ha! Seriously, I can retain water like nobodies business- depending on the time of the month, I feel like a blimp. It’s what makes that tape measure so important.

And, these are my weights, they are on trend too.

8/3/14-  302.8

8/10/14- 302

8/17/14- 297.6

8/24/15- 297

8/31/14- 291.4


9/14/14- 286.2

9/21/14- 277.2

9/28/14- 280

10/5/14- 273

10/12/14- 272

10/19/14- 268

10/26/14- 262

11/2/14- 259.2

11/9/14- 258.8

Now, yes, it’s a big change- nearly 60 lbs worth, but to me, in the mirror, I don’t see it. I guess it’s a normal psychological thing, but the weight numbers really don’t mean anything- they’re not relatable to me.  Now inches and sizes, that’s relatable. (btw, I mentioned earlier in the week. Size 20 jeans. Well, 20w, but it’s all good. I know I was in an 18 on my 29th birthday (I wore a.. rather short skirt on that birthday. I probably should have worn leggings. Instead, I wore ruffle pants and I’m pretty sure most of manhattan saw them… but that’s neither here nor there.) And I know I’ll be there probably for Christmas. I still think that skirt will be permanently retired. Thank the Gods for the midi skirt trend!! I did try on all my steampunky clothes, and they’re ALL WAY too big. Like too big to even merit taking it in, it’d be like sewing a new dress. Means I gotta save my pennies to buy a new outfit. Woo!

Good things are afoot!

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C’est la vie

1017770_675431205904863_1166641397320290783_nC’est la vie.

I like that phrase. Too bad I’m not basic, or I’d end up with it tattooed on my wrist or behind my ear or something like that.

But life- it is what it is- just a wacky little path we walk, some smooth parts, some quicksand, and some hurdles that we have to find our way around (crawling under is always an option. Do not let the evil little gym teachers of the soul tell you otherwise!). As long as we MOVE forward, we can LOOK backward but we can’t quite go back there.


I guess life is a platformer. Just don’t eat the wrong mushroom, and never use the blue shell if you’re in the lead. If you get that yellow star, start running hard- you never know just when your luck is gonna run out.

Enough of the comparing symbolism with life. All here is good at the moment- and we all know that is liable to change, but I’m more than willing to enjoy this stretch while i can 🙂

On the radar for the immediate future is a new tape measure- I’m WAY overdue in my monthly measuring. Turns out cheapy tape measures don’t survive a round in the washer and dryer. My poor tape measure died a nearly heroic death- so measuring is on hold till I get another good one. I might be able to sneak away with one of the ones at work for a few mins and measure myself. I know theres been a reduction… I’m wearing 4 year old jeans.

I will take pics in my new dress come friday. I’m excited!

Keep on the good fight!


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Come get yer’ Goals here!! I got ’em, we all need ’em!

Well, back again for another week catch up, and since it’s the beginning of the month, we’re gonna eval where we are and where we’re going.

This has been a pretty good time– I’m still logging my My fitness pal daily, and just hit a 100 day streak with the program. Just eating sensibly and keeping moving (even at a minimum!) just to keep thing going in the right direction, and I really seem to be- Weighed in today at a beautiful 259.2 lbs. Is it wrong that I’m dreading the next plateau? I haven’t been this size in ages- I’m the smallest I’ve been in 4ish years- since the last round of diet and exercise- and it worries me. I guess we’ll cross that road when we get there.

So, to help combat that, I re-did my calorie needs based on the formula in the Hackers diet book…which really, is just the simplest ‘diet plan’ out there- You calculate the calories you need to eat to live, and then you eat LESS than that number. I can’t see paying for a company to do the math for me, when it’s a 15 second time with a pen and paper, or a 2 minute creation of a spreadsheet that you can use forever.  I knocked my max calories down from 1850 to 1700. Realistically though, I’m not taking in that much about ever. The medicines are really helping with that though- The Victoza really helps me to not be hungry- and I’m hoping that it’s drilling the changes in to be a lifestyle thing and not just a temporary thing.

Speaking of medications, I’ve been really good about taking mine. I’d say I’m probably 95-98% compliant with my regimine- sometimes I’m a little wonky with the timing, and some other times, I’m not the best with taking it on time, but I do try to take it properly every day. I had my repeat 3 month labs drawn last weekend, and I got the results back in yesterday. As a refresher, my A1C at the start of this journey was 11.1 . Yeah, that means that the blood glucose averages 269 and ranges from 217–314 in that 90 day period. It is NOT good. So, diet and lifestyle change, 90 days later… it’s 5.3!!!!!! Yep! Cut it in half and right into the ‘normal’ zone. Wooot! They’re also saying that my thyroid is a little under-active, and that I’m anemic. I go back in 2 weeks for a re-eval and more blood work as a follow up.

And as for normal– I bought a dress on Sunday. I’ll take pics when I wear it out later in the week. I had to buy a new dress because all the dresses I was going to wear to this event I’m going to on friday are just WAY too big. My favorite LBD has a little open back, and is lovely- remember that first goal dress from months ago? Well, now it gapes in the back and shows off my drawers. The bust darts aren’t in the right place and the shoulders droop… It’s just WAY WAY WAY too big. So we went shopping…

I’m just SO Excited. Can’t you tell? So here’s the whole story (yeah, it’s a repost from my weight loss support board 🙂 )
I went to the mall with Mom to pick up my new glasses, and told her I needed to look for another dress for my Godbrother’s wedding (that’d be my Godparent’s son.) The dress I was going to wear is really about a size and a half or 2 sizes too big, and it looks like a sack on me.

So, first we looked in Torrid, and nothing really looked great, and the one thing that was meh was like $70, and that was WAY too expensive. Next, Lane bryant. Again, WAY WAY WAY too expensive and just blah everywhere. The trend is faux leather that really starts resembling hefty bags sewn in as accents after a while. So, we had to pass thru Sears, and I said, Why not, what do I have to lose. (Mom was saying that they tended to come through when other stores haven’t lately… JCP I’m lookin’ at you…)

We went to the Lands End section, and they have a modest plus size range… but I also passed this really cute blue boatneck velvet dress with elbow length sleeves from the straight size section, and picked it up saying ‘Gee, this probably won’t fit, but what do I got to lose.” I tried on the 2 plus size dresses I picked up, and they were just not fitting right- gapping at the arm hole- the armscythe was just cut wrong, and bagging in all the wrong places- and this from my usual 22-24. I try on the blue velvet dress..and… WOW! It fit… PERFECTLY- and Flattered everything that needed flattering, allows for a proper bra and undergarments, and did I mention it has sleeves that go to the elbow??!!?? It didn’t look like a tent and flattered my curves! A happy dance was had!

So, yeah, I bought myself a Straight Size XL(18) dress… on a 30% off sale!!!

After that victory, I went to look at the jeans section- my current pants were to my knowledge at that time all too big or too small, so I brought out my usual size and one size down just in case. I tried on the what should have been too small size, and pulled them on without unbuttoning them. WAY too big, and baggy where they really shouldn’t have been… So… I walk out purposely looking dejected, and mom got concerned. I told her that I needed a size down (rather excitedly) and started doing the happy dance in the middle of the clothing racks. Yes, there were funny looks given but I really didn’t care at all. HA. I grabbed the size 20’s, and they fit PERFECTLY! Another happy dance was done in the fitting room, bringing the total to 3 happy dances to far.

At the checkout, I realized I paid less than $60 for a nice new dress and jeans. Yep. Happy dance #5.

Got home. Tried on my old “Skinny” pants- Non-stretchy size 20 mid-rise jeans (Lee straight leg jeans from Walmart. One of the two things they actually do right in that store are stocking those pants. The other is their scrubs)

They zipped up and buttoned without much difficulty- they’re a little muffin-toppy, but I can breathe and move in them. YEP! ANOTHER HAPPY DANCE WAS BORN! I can’t believe that in August I was a size 30. Damn.

I finally saw myself in a full length mirror for the first time since starting this journey, and it’s getting there! I can finally see the changes.

The changes are a big deal- It’s finally become evident to me that yep, I’ve lost that gigantic sack of dog-food from costco. You know the one… Can you imagine lugging that thing around every day like a suit? It just astounds me. Some days all I see is the loose skin, my droopy boobs and my big belly, but I finally saw that I’m not as roly poly as I’ve been. I’m thinking that soon it’ll be time to get some new foundation garments- I haven’t tried on my spanx in a while but I’m betting they’re gonna be way too big.
So, onto the goals, no real big change–
1) Blog at least once a week, but really try for more. (there’s only so many hours in the day.)
2) Continue updating goals monthly.
3) Continue the weekly pics.
4) Continue medication compliance.
5) Continue to exercise at least 3x a week.
6) Continue to log foods on MFP, continue to wear the armband.
ok, so now the pictures, as usual, under the cut!

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I’m back!

I had some time away- and now I’m making myself come back, not because it is easy, but instead, because it is hard, and I really need to do this. It’s part of being accountable to myself, and yep, I’ve been slacking.

So, what’s been going on? Well, I have a picture that’ll help me explain.

Screen Shot 2014-10-25 at 8.44.37 PM

Well, I had a stall, and a bunch of lb up lb down lb up lb down days from about 10/9 to 10/20, and I got depressed and disheartened. I had a return to losing, and I am feeling better about myself again. I know I really shouldn’t freak out about the little things, but they really do bug me- I have a big fear of reinflating to my previous size, and I am really fighting as hard as I can to not do it.

I am happy people have been saying that i’m looking smaller, It helps me to know that all this hard work isn’t for naught. Sometimes it really feels like it is- and that just ain’t cool man, it just ain’t cool.

So, any way, back on track, I think all the fluids finally shifted, and I’m down to where I should be.  Down a total of right around 55 lbs, which is about 17% of me gone. Up a total of a lot of saggy skin though, but honestly, I’d rather the saggy skin instead of health problems!

I have been taking my progress photos though, and am due for another set tomorrow, and I’ll make sure to post them.

The last 2 weeks of progress pics below the cut

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Weekly progress (just a little late!)

Photo on 10-8-14 at 11.19 AM Photo on 10-8-14 at 11.19 AM #2 Photo on 10-8-14 at 11.20 AM

273 today. Gettin’ there.

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Where the heck did she go?


Been ungodly busy IRL this week- getting my stuff together for the little man’s first birthday party.

I’ve been eating fairly carefully, but will update for this week (including pics, didn’t realise I didn’t do them yet, and it’s already wednesday!) probably later today.

On a good note, I actually weighed in today, and I’m down to 273… that’s nearly a 43 lb loss.

Woot Woot and Hoody Hoo!

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Finally, a return to the downward trend!


Well, it took long enough! This week really seemed beyond impossible. Water retention was the bane of my week. I hopped onto the scale about a week ago to find that it jumped up about 6 lbs overnight, which was immediately followed by my first postpartum visitor. I realize it was water, and it’s still going down, but seeing it read well over 280 was not a happy moment for me. I fully admit, that is why I’m late in posting. I had to really dig down deep and keep telling myself “Yo, it’s water! Seriously, not fat! I’m still kicking butt and taking name!” Today, FINALLY, we’re back in the right direction- 276.2, which is a good solid lb under my last weigh in a week + a few days ago.

Scales are fickle, but tape measures don’t lie.

8/1 →9/1→10/1

  • Waist: 56″ → 52″ → 50″ (-6″)
  • Hips: 58″ → 56.5″ → 54.75″ (-3.25″)
  • Neck: 18″ →16.5″ → 16″ (-2″)
  • Wrist: 7″ → 6.5″  → 6.25″ (-.75″)
  • Thigh: 28″ → 27″ → 25″ (-3″)
  • Calf: 22.5″ → 21″  → 21″ (-1.5″)

So, that’s where we’re at now, it’s definitely a change!

I’ve also noticed that I’m eating more lately, but I’m also exercising like it’s going out of style (well, for me at least) but I’m going to need to keep tabs on that big time. I’ve joined a online weight loss support group. Not that my friends aren’t supportive, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone in the same boat to talk to.

This months goals are:

  1. Take meds and check sugars (I’ve been slacking on the sugar checks, and I did miss 2 pills this month)
  2. Keep exercising at least 5 days a week
  3. Really keep tabs on what I’m eating to make sure it’s not going to become a problem later.
  4. Don’t blow it over halloween. It’s not worth it!

We got this!

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